Assertiveness for success

" No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884-1962, US humanitarian and wife of President Franklin D Roosevelt.)

Few tips for being succesful at Office/formal interactions.
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Do you feel ‘put upon’ or ignored in your exchanges with colleagues?
Are you unable to express and ask for what you want?
Do you find it difficult to stand up for yourself in a discussion?
Are you sis-proportionately thankful when someone seeks your opinion and takes it into account?
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this write should help you. You will srat changing for good. Make sure you balance yourself well in this assertion continuum

aggressive—passive—passive/aggressive—assertive

Remember the above reflects transactions - as Kennether Blanchard puts it [citation needed - in Wiki Style!! No lol stuff this]

If you can't change or too scared to change - its a Q of Chicken and Egg[ot 'seed/sapling/bulb and plant' for I am a veggie].

Being assertive is exactly opposite of being an Ass. Tell yourself you have impact, visualise it, feel it, breathe it, be it don't pretend though.

Warning 1

Dont change too fast, the office gets threatened. Organic change gains strength through time

Continue

Start taking control. Think about You-Situation-Others triangle. while you can very subjectivelyt be biased to one of the vertices.

Warning 2: this can get or take away the advantage. Getting the right balance is the key and most of us miss this.

After a apparent bad show - always tell yourself - I learnt a lot! Dont say - I screwed it up!


Use verbal communication at times. Put your hand up, for example to counter a long [boring] monologue from your colleaugue.

Expose others agression - never get into agression yourself. Tough times are good tests. the results from these tests give you the definite edge.
throw more open questions. Dont confine the other party/colleague into saying mono-syllables like yes, no, ok, good, bad. Breathe deep, introspect, listen, empathise and express eagerness when someone is speaking or expressing himeself or herself.

Warning 3 - Incomplete solution is better than escalation. Specially nearer to the appraisal time! Not to under-estimate the importance of solution.

Summary
From today, consider that you are going to become a more assertive person. You may not always get what you want, but every situation where you behave assertively will leave you feeling more positive about your behaviour whatever the outcome. Before you behave assertively you need to think assertively. You can start being assertive immediately. When the next challenge comes along think positively, think assertively. Remember your rights.

We all have our comfort zone, those situations and activities that we feel comfortable with. To grow we need to stretch the boundaries of our comfort zone, this is necessary and inevitable. Start by undertaking small challenges to begin with, this will help build your confidence. What behaviours do you need to remove and which ones do you need to develop to help you move forward? Plan ahead. Remember we get what we settle for.

Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace.
Amelia Earhart